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I'd heard from several people, even perfect strangers, that three was actually worse than two. Maybe it's because I'm in the thick of the threes, but right now, the "terrible twos" look like a warm sunny day at the park.
Do I really have another half a year left??
Ok, that might be a teensy bit on the extreme side, but right now it seems like this hellish nightmare will never end. I feel like I'm always repeating myself (who's the broken record?) and even though my little boy knows he's not supposed to do *insert fill in the blank here*, he just can't seem to help himself. Add to that a side of open defiance, a dish of kicking and screaming and a dash of you can't make me, and it's a recipe for disaster.
We are working hard at being consistent and making sure we follow through, but what seemed to work fine and be effective ... even two weeks ago ... just is not cutting it anymore.
When we discovered we were pregnant, I signed up for the weekly pregnancy emails at babycenter.com and since they asked, I shared Stephan's information with them as well. This means that I also get several emails about the rambunctious toddler. Every once in a while something turns up useful, and sometimes, even at just the right time.
Being that I'm about ready to pull my hair out, Christmas is around the corner, and I really do want to enjoy my last break before the business hits and baby comes in the spring, I was thankful for this series of articles on time-outs and toddler discipline. (I'm a little freaked that they are geared toward threes and fours, but eventually something's got to give, right?
- Time-outs: How to make them work (ages 3-4)
- What to do when time-outs don't work (ages 3-4)
- Moving beyond threats (ages 3-4)
- Alternatives to threats (ages 3-4)
Each of these builds on the other and provides some great ideas and strategies, and provided some small changes that will hopefully make a HUGE impact.
My biggest issue is keeping my cool. I'm already frustrated and stressed about the whole situation and really will need to work hard at keeping that out of the equation. No sense adding to the drama. I'm hopeful gaining some additional tips on discipline now that he's changing things up a bit will make all the difference.
So here's to a better tomorrow!
I haven't blogged here in a while and I was thinking about something to
blog about. There are so many things that I am dabbling in but stopped
and thought about one thing that brings me great joy: those mother daughter moments that you can't get back unless captured on film, in a photo or a blog.
My daughter and I were fighting about the fact that I have distracted lately.
Her
complaint: "Mom, you never listen to me. I mean you listen but like
right now, you are not looking at me. Now, if I did that, not look at
you while you were talking to me, I'd be in a lot of trouble."
My
rebuttal: "Never is a very strong word. I have paid attention to you
for twelve years so forgive me if I am a little occupied right now but
I heard what you said."
Her response: "And I appreciate your
undivided attention for the past twelve years but right now, you are
not listening to me." I stopped what I was doing, pushed my laptop
away, looked her in the eye and said, "I am sorry honey. I have behaved
badly so please forgive me for not listening to you. Now, what were you
saying?"
"Gee I forgot what I was saying now but I am glad you are
listening. I'll let you know if it comes back to me," she announced and
went off to her room to finish up her homework. The look on her face
was a combination of great achievement, contentment and pride. She must
have felt a sense of accomplishment that she raised a complaint, and it
was heard. She was content that I recognized my mistake and apologized
and lastly, proud of herself that she had the guts to bring it up and
get a resolution.
Our sons and daughters are constantly
talking...are we listening? I know I am. It might not be important, so
we think, but it's important to them and if it's important to them, it
should be important to us. It is those moments that shape who they
become. I love my mother daughter moments even if it means I have to stop what I am doing, apologize and learn a thing or two.
It's been a long time since I blogged here. Been a long time since I blogged anywhere, really, but when I've blogged it's been over at my blogger.com site rather than here. Here might become where I focus my attentions on artificial colors, eating naturally, and healthier eating. We'll see. Anyway ...
There is a reason for my return. Those of you that have read my blog over the years might remember M's allergy to Red 40. Well, we just discovered a new one and promptly put it on the list. I thought I'd blog about it here just to raise awareness about it. The apparent new red dye du jour is Red 7. Hadn't seen it before until we were reading labels on Children's Chewable Tylenol, as M is wanting to get away from the dye-free drinkable stuff and take medicine "like a big girl". So, we looked at the label, it said Red 7 instead of Red 40, so we thought we'd give it a try.
The first dose, a week or so ago, seemed to go without incident. This weekend, however, she had two doses at grandma's because she's got a new tooth coming in and add to that a headache from a stuffy head. Both doses resulted in a really mean, nasty case of hives all over her face and ears and neck. Mean, red, puffy rash. My mom thought it might have been from M playing around the artificial Xmas tree with the cats, because she wasn't thinking of the medicine and couldn't pin it onto anything she might have eaten (my folks are great about watching out for her Red 40 allergy). She had another dose before coming home, and the rash really exploded when she got to our place, and it was while we were talking about it that mom remembered the Tylenol. There is no doubt that's what it is, as the hives came with a vengeance about 45 mins after taking the Tylenol.
I'm so pissed about this, so very very frustrated. And M's not at all happy about it either, because for one it means she's got to go back to "kiddy" dye free liquid medicine, and for another it means that there's one more thing we need to look out for and that she can't have. It's certainly served as a reminder to all of us, and has renewed my determination to be as all natural as possible, despite how hard it is.
We're supposed to be getting a blizzard this evening. 6-18 inches which is a pretty wide range. I love how weather people can be that vague and still get paid. It's like me saying "we will get between 100 and 10,000 units out today" Just isn't acceptable that way is it? However, I guess that's why they get paid the big bucks...and I do not.
Today we heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. We are at 13 weeks and SO EXCITED. Hearing the heartbeat always makes it that much more real. I started crying and I could tell Mike was 100x more relieved now that we could hear it. Best sound ever.
Well, here is to the blizzard. We shall see how bad it actually gets. Hopefully not to bad and people show up to work tomorrow.
Vida is about a week away from turning 20 months! Her language development continues to impress me. I know, every mother has a super baby. Well here's some proof:
She can say some 3 word sentences, here are some examples:
1. I see you! If you're playing hide and seek and she spots you.
2. We're home! As we drive into our alley and pull up to our place.
3. There it is! When she has located something we asked for.
She has memorized two songs and sings them on her own.
1. The Wheels on the Bus... (My mom just loves this one.)
This one is not as easily understood until you hear her say, 'round and round'. She sings it spontaneously not on command.
2 Happy Birthday! (Every gathering with multiple people and candles in sight is 'Happy Birthday' time.)
Take Thanksgiving for example: At the table were centerpieces with orange tapers. She was so excited and began to sing "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Vida. Blow! Blow!"
Vida has a cousin that's 6 weeks older than her and his mom said he only knew 3 words and simply grunts to have his needs met.
3. She's working on some Mother Goose Nursery rhymes, I think she has them but doesn't sing them all the way through on her own. Favorites include: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (95% memorized), Row, Row, Row Your Boat and Pat a Cake (85% memorized).
She asks to have books read to her one after the other.
I notice this most during the bed time routine: we put the pajamas on, bring the bottle, she inhales it, and says, 'book'. We read one, two, and sometimes three or four books. I am trying to decipher if she has already started to use it as a stall for bedtime or simply enjoys reading for pleasure. There are days where she'll get in a book worm mood in the middle of the day and want to read.
There's one book, she can 'read' on her own:
On each page there's a different doll with a feature that is not 'right'. Example: 'That's not my dolly! Her shoes are too bumpy!' The shoes are textured for touch. As Vida flips through it, you can hear the intonation that I use as I read to her. I may have mentioned this before because she caught me by surprise about two months ago when I overheard her. I am fascinated though because it reminds of when I ask kids to read aloud with an animated voice and to use the punctuation marks. Some kids still sound monotone or their attempts are strained. Reading with intonation can only be learned through modeling.
She engages in storytelling:
There are 3 incidents she re-lives when something trigger her memory, usually an object or keyword.
1. The parakeet incident: While Pablo let the birds spread their wings, they scrambled to the top of the back door when Vida approached. One of them flew away back to the cage as Vida began to move the door. The more docile, tame one, stayed and had a toe smashed in the door frame. With a horrible shriek, Vida let go and ran to the other side of the kitchen, she was traumatized. Her face flush and on the verge of tears from the horrible squaking. Pablo was washing the dishes (awesome Husband, I know) and I came in to check out the commotion. The bird is now inside its cage and bleeding. I attend to Vida and reassure her, Pablo attends to the bird, quickly Googling first aid. Pablo was leaving the next morning for a surprise visit home for his mom's birthday. I took the bird in for a check up (I didn't think it was necessary but these $4 parakeets are his friends). $100 later (an antibiotic and vitamin shot), granted both parakeets had their nails trimmed, he's fine. Every now and then, Vida will comment:
Bird, Door, Sorry
Sorry...was picked up at daycare. If she walks by an object and bumps into it, she tells the it, 'sorry'. Once when I picked her up from daycare, she said, 'Seesaw. Sorry.' She motioned to her head. I am guessing some kid abruptly got off and she fell off.
2. Then there was the Turban squash incident. We selected a turban squash from the pumpkin patch. It was Pablo's idea, it could serve as Vida's own pumpkin, it's a cute size, and it looks like a toadstool. Below is an example:
One morning I was washing out her bottles and she wanted to tell the parakeets good morning. We have a routine where we tell them 'good morning' and pull of the towel that covers them. Well the turban squash was sitting on top of the cage and came down with just a couple of gentle tugs. A 'foot' of the squash landed square on the front right corner of Via's head and knocked her to her butt. It was definitely a slow motion reaction on my part as it unfolded. She summarizes the incident as Pumpkin! Burdies! Sorry! As she pats the part of her forehead that was hit. :-(
I don't want to end on a sad note like that. She has incredible resiliency and spunk. It's hilarious to watch her find tons of amusement in the most basic experiences, like going up and down the back steps or her Little Tikes slide in our living room. The role playing is expanding. She places her stuff animals on chairs and spins them 'round and 'round. She reads with them in her house.
This weekend a new element of entertainment was introduced...Play dough! I have small jars (the party favor ones) in 4 different colors. She loves them all. Daddy has a good time too. He makes her cake, strawberries, and bananas. She likes using tools with it, like a small roller, protractor, and the cases themselves. Beginning in January, she will start attending Music Together classes. I am saving the details of our first demo class for another post. The program is simply amazing! We're taking small steps to prep her for preschool, she could start as early as 4 months from now! Most likely, we're still 10 months away but it's good to present her with similar experiences.
It seems as though the surge of hormones acquired during my pregnancy with Vida still linger. Whenever I read a tragic news story about a young life lost, a sinking feeling comes over me. I actually feel my chest sink a little bit as I go limp reading some of the details of these abductions that almost always result in killings.
I can recall the first time that I watched some footage on the news while on maternity leave and simply clutching Vida as close as I possibly could without actually squishing her. I needed to run an errand at Target and began to take into consideration measures that are needed to protect her from 'baby snatchers'. The story I watched on the news didn't even play out like that. However, the thoughts of what a 'baby snatcher' could do sent me into hyper-protective mode.
As an educator, you have many opportunities to create nurturing mommy moments. I recently subbed in a first grade classroom and was taken aback by the hugs I was welcomed with after lunch recess. This morning, I arrived early for an assignment to assist a librarian. There was a 1st grader waiting for the library to open up along with me. She had a Fancy Nancy book in Spanish! I asked her about it and asked if I could read it with her. Mid-way through the book, a fourth grader arrived and began to follow along. I just couldn't help myself. For one thing, I felt awkward just hanging out in the hallway and out of a little boredom was born a teachable moment.
Are you looking for an interactive, fun and educational game for your kids this Christmas? If so, check out LEGO Rock Band out this Friday 26th November http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzvibXuMnV0.
To preorder now please visit HMV - http://hmv.com/hmvweb/simpleMultiSearch.do?searchUID=&pGroupID=0&adultFlag=false&primaryID=0&simpleSearchString=lego+rock+band&btnSubmitSearch.x=19&btnSubmitSearch.y=8
Just a few weeks ago my little preschooler came home with his first Scholastic sheet and order form. I could remember being so excited about ordering books when I was in school that I HAD to give in and buy a few for Nate. I decided to let him pick out some and he circled everything. So, we went with The Very Cranky Bear by Nick Bland and the "If You Give a Mouse A Cookie" set. He'll get the set for Christmas but I let him have the The Very Crank Bear now.
This book is AWESOME. I just read it to my 4 year old dude and he LOVED it. Daddy even played out the story and acted as the VERY CRANKY BEAR himself. It was a good time. I loved the illustrations and the story was fun. Highly recommend it for other little dudes and dudettes :)
Imagine...
A preschool with a passionate director, an authentic Reggio approach, and a beautiful environment. Yes, it's out of reach: with only a 1/2 day schedule and a 5-digit price tag plus an additional $2K for the art materials and registration fee. The experience is worthwhile, this site is a testament to how the childrens' natural talents are nourished. I knew the preschool search would be tough but didn't expect heartache to go with it. What I have learned though is to use the same approach when selecting a day care site. I didn't give myself enough time on that one. I am happy with Vida's daycare but it doesn't have a bilingual component. It's possible to have it all, it just takes a significant amount of planning.
We just wrapped up our second preschool tour and were super satisfied until we reflected on the price tag, it's more than our rent. It will be a back up, pending my future employment. When you compare it to the preschool above, it's a 'bargain'. A huge bonus at this location is that the child can start on their second birthday, rolling admissions, and they don't have to be potty-trained. So far this has been a rare perk: usually potty training is required and they can't start until they are 2.5.
I have 4 more preschool tours between November and January. 1/2 of them are not realistic due to their hours but I want to get a feel for what's offered in the area so that I can make an informed decision.
This is when you truly feel the middle class squeeze and your options are limited. We want it all: a satisfying career, home ownership and a great education for our child(ren). In CA, that combination is reserved for a few.
Oh, how I miss the days where I could scribble out a 5-year plan and everything worked out perfectly, falling into place at the right time. Now, it's about the 10-year plan and holding our breath that it works out. I guess, we can hold off on buying our first place until it's time for kindergarten or college. I am an advocate of public education whether traditional or charter. However, I feel strongly about a private high school education. That view could change with some significant reform.
I read the The Complete TightWad Gazette to learn more tips about saving money. To truly fit the bill there are some caveats: you need to have strong home ec skills, live in a rural area, and have one parent stay home. Yes, there were multiple examples of families owning homes with only one income, granted their purchases were less than $50K.
Which brings me to my next topic...
How do I reduce my carbon footprint, live a frugal life, and increase family quality time factor?
(I would love to hear your answers to this question too.)
This BIG question evolved as I discovered the No Impact Man, the book mentioned above, personal finance blogs, a rigorous work environment, and the Story of Stuff.
So in my tiny universe I have taken these steps and noticed that some have the added benefit of a healthy lifestyle too:
1. Commitment to only 1 TV in our household and no cable. We have always had 1 TV and the DirectTV was canceled months ago and replaced with a more affordable Netflix subscription (only 1 DVD at a time). It still feels like we watch too much TV, between morning cartoons and our shows/interests, we're probably at 10 hours/week. I would rather spend that time reading or doing something productive like household duties. As Vida's school years begin, I would like to create the routine of no TV after dinner as it will be reserved for homework time and it only gets turned on after she's asleep. We have ridiculously great weather, it was 90 degrees today, we should be outside more often.
2. Making treats instead of buying them. Like if I want to serve dessert for the family it will be something made from scratch. Or if I want snack foods for work, it will be a home-made item. So far this has been in effect 50%...
3. Buying in bulk and sharing the difference with family. We're just two adults and a toddler, so I review a list of needs with my mom and we split the cost on some Costco purchases.
4. Using a Brita filter instead of buying bottled water, this one is tough because bottle water is such an evil, er, great convenience. We're getting better at this one, I think a larger Brita contraption would help.
5. Menu planning: it makes so much sense and has significant pay off in terms of finances and stress. No last minute decisions and panic fast food runs. It's not intuitive or second nature yet but it has improved in the last 3 months. Taking time off from working full time made a difference. It also helps with grocery shopping and cuts down on throwing away unused food.
6. No full price purchases or dining: Basically take advantage of discounts, coupons, and perks if you want to treat yourself or indulge. There have been multiple times that I found myself remembering that 'we had a coupon for that. Dang it!'
7. Do significant research on any purchase over $50: First ask yourself is it REALLY necessary, then if it is, hunt for the best value. Take Vida's bedroom furniture for example: the crib can be modified to a toddler bed and the dresser and night stand can plain-face or have colorful panels, it's also well made and will last. I remember having my furniture for nearly a decade. I can't say the same for our main couch, I think it's cush factor has a maximum of 5 years left.
Living this lifestyle is not difficult it just takes commitment, like my Jillian's 30-Day Shred work out. :-) Bottom line: you can't procrastinate if you want to be successful with this lifestyle.
How fun is it to sing the 'ABC's' song?
It's my first round and I am loving it. Vida sings along during certain portions. She has a strong concept of letter and sound relationships. She has even transferred it to graffiti, let me explain:
While at the park on Sunday, she was playing on the equipment and crawled through a tunnel that had some tagging, silly stuff like, 'cows eat poop' along with actual tagging. She pointed to the letter 'C' and said it.
The night before we 'tagged' up the bathroom tile with Crayola's tub crayons and sang about the ABC's during bath time. *Remember*: I am an educator and learning opportunities abound. Below is a video of the final round, she's not participating as much. Her voice comes through as a high pitch, my apologies in advance:
